Old News

(Being; Headlines of Yesteryear)

Jazztime in Norn Iron
The guys went over to play a bunch of gigs at the Derry Jazz Festival at the start of May. Here are Tox and Dolman on their day off. It's the Giant's Causeway!
	Tox on the "Wishing Chair"

It's Banjo-pickin' good!
Martin went to a banjo pickers' convention in Dayton, Ohio. He was lucky enough to be invited, yes, invited, to meet Earl Scruggs after the main show.

Eire beckons
Cat Scratch Fever are at the Shelbourne Bar on MacCurtain St in Cork on March 15/16/17. There is still some accommodation available in the area for a reasonable price - e-mail the band and they can point you in the right direction.

Little Voice I
Apologies if you turned up to Granvilles or the Atlantic, the gigs were cancelled. Unfortunately, Martin Pleass had a superior chronoid cojoined to the deltic glottal process and so was unable to perform vocally. Please rest assured that he is now returned to health.

A Granville's night out!
Granville's: a place near Stoke on Trent. There's obviously something odd in the water, 'cos folks do stuff like this.... Mathew Feltcher and Mark Fenton, you should be ashamed of yourselves!

Cork II: St. Patrick's Revenge

Oh what a night
Old St. Patrick in 2001
Knew my sanity was nearly gone
I remember, what a night....

What do you say? Irish folks get drunk on the 17th of March. It's not like back home in Liverpool; you know - green hair, green lager and terrible leprechaun hats. Ah wait. Sorry, it's just like that, only worse. (But no green lager!)
Click here to see a series of photos, mostly taken from the stage, and quite a few of them actually of the staff. Would you buy a drink from this man? Yes, that type of thing.

Gigs Ahoy!

Mr Pleass is back and the Cork Jazz Festival gigs went wonderfully well. There were promoters there from various other Festivals and as a result negotiations have started with the Derry Jazz Festival and Hagersaund in Norway. Obviously, these are subject to confirmation, so keep your ear to the ground.....
IN THE MEANTIME, there are new gigs in for December, so have a look at the Giglist page while you're here.

CSF at Cork Jazz Festival Oct 2000

The lads are booked to play in the Emerald Isle again this year. The dates are Oct 27/28/29. The venue is the Shelbourne (or Siol Brionn) in McCurtain St every night. They've also been booked by John Hornby Skewes (musical instrument importers) to play some showcase sessions in various afternoon shows around the town.

New old photos

Just in from the desk of Dr Hank; some amusing old time photos and a painting
that was done for us when we used to play in Guinan's in Liverpool about 6 years ago.
The original's gone now, but it'll turn up on "Antiques Roadshow!" one day, I'll bet.

CSF Sabbatical

As most of you know by now, Mr Pleass has decided to go backpacking in the Outback of Australia. It's taking up the next few months, so he's asked for a Sabbatical from our normal heavy gigging schedule, probably 'til November. There won't be many public gigs in the next few months, but keep a lookout for further news on this site.
In the meantime, Tox and Dolman will be keeping their talents gainfully employed with Perfectly Frank, the cool, swingin' Sinatra show. All Frankie gigs will be on the Giglist page.

Moonlight in Mathew Street Aug 2000

Hey, Cats and Kittens!
Tox and Dolman have joined
forces with "Perfectly Frank"
for a show of Old Blue Eyes'
swingin' classics.

Frankie says "Relaxez-vous!"

"Identi-cat" Triplets!

Not many people know this, but Dolman is actually one of identical Rockabilly triplets. It seems they have now formed a band, and are ready to implement their fraternal dream of world domination.
Look out Shakin' Stevens, there's a new kid(s) in town!

New Year Stuff; Erm, New Year...

Dolman went up to Edinburgh and saw The Bay City Rollers and The Mavericks live. It was great, but there are no photos of The Rollers 'cos that would just be a bit too sad. (Dolman does admit to waving a tartan scarf....)
God knows how many hundreds of thousands of people there were on Princes St, but it was hugely crowded, and yes, we did dance the night away. (Then limbo danced under snooker cues balanced on the bare breasts of comely lassies. No photos available.)

Tox, meanwhile, was up Scafell Pike in the Lake District. Here's a shot as the first sun of what many, mistakenly, call the new Millennium breaks about his head and shoulders in a very "Oh My God, they killed Kenny!" fashion.

Mr Martin Pleass played his bagpipes on the top of Thursaston Hill on the Wirral

The Games People Play! Fri 7th Jan 2000

Now, if you'd told me that this was the sort of thing that grown-ups got up to, I wouldn't've believed you. I mean, it's not big, and it's not clever, but they do seem to be having fun....

A lady and a man having fun.

Incidentally, this is the sort of thing that goes on in Telford's, in Chester.

"Fishpockets" case continues...
	Can you imagine our utter, gobsmacked, amazement upon coming across this "Fishpockets" teapot in a house in South Shields? If you're thinking "What the Hell's he on about?", check out the "Old News" page.

"Royle" visit to The Atlantic; Thu 25th Nov '99

Ricki Tomlinson with Martin

Jim Royle, a.k.a. Ricky Tomlinson popped into the Atlantic the other week and Mr Pleass took the opportunity to say "Hi!"

The Volkswagen Brighton Breeze. Oct 9th '99
Now this is what I call Rock'n'Roll - a Beer Festival in a cathedral crypt, then at 12.30 a.m. a 260 mile drive to get to the south coast for a lunchtime gig. We made incredible time, i.e. arriving at Brighton at 4.25 a.m., and not a hint of excess speed on the way!
There was time for a couple of hours shut-eye in the van before the first early arrivals started slamming doors at around 6.30, then that was it, no more sleep. We had the gear set up by 10.00, but alas, no generators, so Tox and Mr Pleass took off into town. Some time later they returned with Mr Pleass's latest musical acquisitions. There's no stopping that guy when he wants to learn to play something new.

Needless to say, hundreds of V.W.'s made Dolman happy, but the band were seriously upstaged by the 2 lads in a hydraulic equipped van that was able to dance to "Duelling Banjos". We just got faster and faster and they kept up, but God did they look sea-sick afterwards!

All day long a fascinating man with a big snake roamed around and, once again, Dolman couldn't resist playing with it. What a cutie, but it kept getting cold and touching my arse. What do you say to an 11ft python that keeps fondling your backside whilst coiled around your neck?
"Mmm, feels so good!"

If you're wondering why there are no V.W. pics, it's 'cos they'll all be on the Split Screen Club site. Check 'em out there.

Later that day, after we'd played and packed up, we went up to Brighton Racecourse where everyone was camped, to play our second gig that day. There were 3 bands playing - Stumble, Astrohound and us, but due to a problem with the P.A. we decided to go on first, 'cos we had the simplest setup. Great gig, with lots of crazy, crazy Aircooled lovers going wild. Too much gear though, seeing it was only a smallish venue. This was the scene about 8 mins before we were due to play!

Having been and gone and done it by about 9.30 we figured we may as well leg it back up north. This is what Rock'n'Roll's really about - 3.00 a.m, M56. This photo was taken on our "hands-free" Fuji cabcam.

Holiday! Celebrate!

Home again, and jolly glad to be there....
Dolman went to Brighton first, 'cos the weekend of the11th Sept was the Ace Cafe Rockers' Reunion. Great - 1,000's of old British bikes, gallons of Brylcreem and Rock'n'Roll bands. What more could you want?
Then it was time to leg it up to Hull (Mmmm, dreamy place! Love to live there. Not.) and thence over to Holland for a V.W. Festival. You know that Dolman loves all things to do with the internal combustion engine, but really, the whole thing's about drinking litres of bier and eating your own bodyweight of chips smothered in mayonnaise.

Mr Pleass went to Corfu and ate kilo after kilo of Souvlaki, had a tantastic time, and now weighs more than his own bodyweight.

Tox went to the mountains and foraged for nuts and berries to eat, so now checks in at 4st 8lb, in a soaking wet Dufflecoat.

Sighting confirms existence of "Mr Fishpockets"!

Now then. It seems that many of you doubt the truth behind the tales of "Mr Fishpockets" of Stockport. Understandable, really, 'cos it's difficult to conceive that anyone would walk around with a pair of wet kippers in his pocket. Until, that is, you see this photo.Now you understand what it's all about? If you'd like, you can write to this legendary figure

c/o The Thatched House
Churchgate
Stockport

Jocks Wahey! Aug '99

Hoots to all of ye, and greetings frae Bonnie Scotland!
The Scottish Association for Bikers with a Disability (SABD) booked us to play at Eglinton Park, near Ayr. A big field and plenty of beer - sounds great! Unfortunately, we were due on at 11.00 p.m., but because of an electrical meltdown it was closer to 1.00 a.m. Not really a problem, 'cos it gave us more time to drink, but alas, same goes for the audience, some of whom could barely stand. In the end, though, the sight of loads of big, burly bikers doing the 'Dying Fly' to "Duelling Banjos" was well worth the wait.
What a day! Eventually we all went to bed, tired but happy. On the stage. Which means; So pissed, we just dropped where we stood. Good thing is, everybody else was in much the same state, so no-one got up 'til 10.30. Bliss!

It was a hot night in Hell at Whistle Binkies, but The Devil Himself couldn't've had a better time sticking pitchforks up miserable sinners' behinds... (Why are sinners always miserable?)
All our usual buddies were there, fuelled to the edge of madness by the fact that Lovely Ladies kept coming by and giving away free Guinness. I mean as much as you can drink. All night. Course, we don't need it to have a good time, 'cos we've got our Rock'n'Roll to keep us warm. Oh, but we did have to scoop Mr Pleass out of the van and into the home of our good friends Niall and Katrina. God Bless them and all who sail in them, 'cos they don't mind us coming 'round at 4.30 a.m. (Though they did go to bed pronto). We were s'posed to have been playing another couple of gigs at The Fringe, but The Council wouldn't let the Beck's Spiegeltent have a late license, so they went out of the window.

To Whom it may concern

Mr Martin Pleass wishes it to be known that he intends to have a tartan suit tailored. It is to be a full suit, not just trousers, so if anyone has any objections, please e-mail us immediately. Please.

Y1.959k problems

An interesting phenomenon has been brought to our attention. Lots of our chums up here are very heavily into all things old and Rock'n'Roll. There is a permanent fear of what will happen when the clocks turn to 1960 - Buddy Holly and Elvis will die; cars won't have tail-fins; women won't wear stockings; television will be in colour; stereo, etc. This is known as the Y1.959k bug

Rhosneigr Rocks! Aug 6th '99

It could only have been wetter if we'd done the gig underwater.
Enjoyable, but the forecast thunderstorms arrived with a vengeance. Much respect to Ad-lib P.A. Hire for managing to get the sound system dried out and carrying on. Once again, Duelling Banjos had the punters cavorting about, all over the place. It's great to see mature adults roll their trousers up and leap about like burning Hillbillies.

The organisers must've known how hungry we'd be, 'cos they laid on a buffet, the likes of which hasn't been seen since Dolman was at Buckingham Palace last year. (He doesn't like to talk about it; Modesty). We ate so much that it was all we could do to even play some slooooow blues tunes. Got 'em rockin' in the end though - "Ace of Spades" went down great guns. "Anarchy in the U.K." next.

Tatton Park, Aug 7/8th '99

Dolman was like a dog with two appendages. He loves old Volkswagens (if you hadn't noticed), so it was one of those "it doesn't get any better than this" moments. To be able to look at all those old crates and play too? Heaven.... The sun shone, but not too hot, 'cos last year it melted the mixing desk and cost £100's to get fixed. This year, just right.

Two gigs, actually. One on Saturday night as a private thing for invited guests (Extended Trance-Didjeridu Hip-Hop Dance Mix, completely by accident. 15 mins of pure, up-to-the-minute Rave sounds. Bet you never thought we'd do that! We didn't either, but it was kind of fun.) People climbing all over the top of the Marquee, but only one casualty. Would Mr Martin Moorhouse of Flixton please stand up! Oh sorry, you can't, 'cos you fell flat on your back whilst doing upside down monkey impressions. Still, I think the ground was dented more than you - no lasting damage, we hope....
The second was on Sunday afternoon, in the open air. Lots of small children danced about with gay abandon, unlike their parents, who were far too cool to let themselves go in daylight. Somebody handed in a half sucked sweet, with 2 hairs attached, as lost property. Alas, it was still unclaimed by the end of the event, so obviously a child will have gone home very disappointed.
All in all, most satisfactory - a wonderful weekend and we made a lot of new friends, including Tom, aged 3½. Hi Tom!

Stockport Strikes Again... Aug 1st '99

For some of the best, and nicest, characters you could wish to meet come to The Thatched House in Stockport. There's a Guy Called Gerald who's to be found in there a lot.
One night he appeared, and whilst talking to us, suddenly brought forth a pair of wet kippers from his inside pocket. He brandished these under our noses to emphasise some point, and then returned them from whence they came. Now, the point is long forgotten, but the kippers never were; thereafter, he was known as "Mr Fishpockets" (Gerald never even came into the equation).So, one night, whilst introducing "Il est cinq heures, Paris s'éveille" Mr Fishpockets was heckling as usual, but was put down by Dolman as "Monsieur Pêche-Poches", which sets the scene for the night of 1st August...
A very drunk chap was standing, barefoot, in the urinals. Later, whilst heckling, he became "Mr Pissyfeet". Even later, during French Time, he was re-Christened "Monsieur Pissepieds" (This works better if you know the Debussy piece "Passepied")
Lovely people, fun staff, go there and meet the characters!

Pulham! July 10th '99

Boy oh boy, you should've been at The Pulham International Festival of Music and the Arts on the 10th of July. I've never seen more people dancing in one place. Marvellous!
It was a bit of a folky thing, and truth be told, we enjoyed Bignonioides, the only other band we saw. But....
We decided to kick some Folkie ass, so we gave it some severe Rock'n'Roll. Oh, and a bit of Didjeridu, but no Bagpipes.

On the motorway going to Pulham we spotted a lorry with loads of liquid pouring from the top of it's fuel tank. "Quick!" Dolman shouts, "flag it down and tell the driver!" We did, but on the hard shoulder the driver informed Dolman in an outrageous French accent "I 'ave ze loads of 'Fruits of the Sea' 'oo are melteeng. Iz just fishee watair!" Ah well, so much for concern for others.
Never again said Dolman.